So when I started this blog I intended it to be lite hearted and good for a laugh or two. But the tone of this post will be a bit different. I wanted to take some time to reflect on things that have change who I am as a person. These events or people have change the core of who I am. Some events or people have been good.... some, not so good.
So here it is...
In 1996 my parents divorced. After 17 years of marriage, they split. Yeah, it happens, but for me, I never thought it would happen to me. When I was growing up, all of my friend's parents were married. So I bet you are wondering how my parents getting divorced changed me. Well, I do NOT believe in divorce. I refuse to think that the man I married will eventually not be my husband.
Not only has the actually divorce changed me, but there are other things about that time that will always stand out in my mind. When my dad left my mom, I didn't really "feel" anything. It didn't hurt that much... until he ran off to Boston to be with some chick he met on the Internet. On the 4th of July I got an email from my dad. It said that it was "HIS" Independence Day. He day of freedom. Back then I wasn't sure what that really meant. But I do remember that I thought that he was contemplating taking his own life. I remember very clearly sitting on the porch with a boyfriend, crying hysterically and breathing into a brown paper bag. At that moment I vowed to myself to NEVER let my father hurt me like that ever ever again. He will never get that close to me again. He will never have that chance to make me feel that awful.
And to this day, I have a very big wall up when it comes to my father. I will not allow him to hurt me anymore. I don't talk to him very often. As a matter of fact, I usually only talk to him around the Holidays.
Another part of this event that has changed me more than I realized at the time, THE BOSTON LADY taught me something. She taught me that there are some women who use a man just for the money. And there are some women who are completely okay. I realized that I will NEVER be that kind of woman.
12 years ago
