Just a few random thoughts part 1

So when I started this blog I intended it to be lite hearted and good for a laugh or two. But the tone of this post will be a bit different. I wanted to take some time to reflect on things that have change who I am as a person. These events or people have change the core of who I am. Some events or people have been good.... some, not so good.

So here it is...
In 1996 my parents divorced. After 17 years of marriage, they split. Yeah, it happens, but for me, I never thought it would happen to me. When I was growing up, all of my friend's parents were married. So I bet you are wondering how my parents getting divorced changed me. Well, I do NOT believe in divorce. I refuse to think that the man I married will eventually not be my husband.

Not only has the actually divorce changed me, but there are other things about that time that will always stand out in my mind. When my dad left my mom, I didn't really "feel" anything. It didn't hurt that much... until he ran off to Boston to be with some chick he met on the Internet. On the 4th of July I got an email from my dad. It said that it was "HIS" Independence Day. He day of freedom. Back then I wasn't sure what that really meant. But I do remember that I thought that he was contemplating taking his own life. I remember very clearly sitting on the porch with a boyfriend, crying hysterically and breathing into a brown paper bag. At that moment I vowed to myself to NEVER let my father hurt me like that ever ever again. He will never get that close to me again. He will never have that chance to make me feel that awful.
And to this day, I have a very big wall up when it comes to my father. I will not allow him to hurt me anymore. I don't talk to him very often. As a matter of fact, I usually only talk to him around the Holidays.

Another part of this event that has changed me more than I realized at the time, THE BOSTON LADY taught me something. She taught me that there are some women who use a man just for the money. And there are some women who are completely okay. I realized that I will NEVER be that kind of woman.

Goin' thru the big "D" and I don't mean Dallas!

There really isn't anything funny to say about Divorce. It is the most heart wrenching experience anyone can have.



Sometimes divorce is a mutual thing. Both parties involved want it. It may be amicable, it may be nasty! But it still vary hard for all involved.



Sometimes it is a midlife crisis. (Bad)

Sometimes someone just needs to "find" themselves. (Makes you wonder what they expect to find)

Sometimes people just fall out of love. (Unfortunately this happens far to often)

Sometimes someone cheats. (The Ultimate Betrayal)



I have a very dear friend who is going thru a Divorce. She is lost. She is hurt. She is mad. She is sad. She is crushed. She feels like she is unworth of being loved. All of these things are very valid feelings. She will be ok. She WILL survive this. She will move forward with her life and be a better person because she has loved someone unconditionally.



Seeing her go thru all of this heart ache just makes me feel awful for her. Seeing her hurt and knowing that you can't fix it. I have tried to be a good friend. I have been there when she needed someone to talk to. I have sent cards. I have prayed (which I very rarely do) for her to be whole again. I have thought about her and her children often.



I hope she finds peace and happiness. I hope she takes the time to heal. I hope she finds out she is an amazing women.

Grateful for my boring ass life!!!!

So I have a very near and dear friend (who will be known as Hot Mama from here on out) who is being screwed!!!! Her partner (who will be known as DUMBA$$ from here on out)of 8.5 years decided that she no longer wants to be with her. She decided that she was "in love" with someone(who will be known as BIOTCH) else... ok that is a well and good... but this someone else is Married... TO A MAN!!!!

Hot Mama is being very strong. She has her moments of weakness, but that is ok. We are all weak sometimes. It makes you a better person in the long run. She is much nicer to Dumba$$ than I would be.

But here is were I am grateful for my boring ass life, My Husband is way to lazy to go out and find someone to fall "in love" with. So I am pretty sure he won't cheat on me or leave me. But let me tell you this, if he ever does... his balls wont be leaving with him. They will be in a jar on the mantel.

Getting back to me!

So I have decided that it is FINALLY time to get back to who I really am. And the FAT CHICK that I am pretending to be is NOT ME.

So I putting it in writting! I am DONE being FAT. I am tired of feeling unattractive. I am DONE!
It is time to get back to who I deserve to be.

So say goodbye to the fat chick and HELLO to ME!

On the List!

So I have a list! Well several lists actually.

It is easy to get on this list. Doesn't require any special invite to join this list, you just have to annoy the SHIT out of me...So this is my SHIT LIST!

*My Boss is #1 on my list right now! It seems like he goes out of his way to join this list.

*Another guy I work with. He is always on the list, even when he probably shouldn't be.

*My Husband finds himself on this list often! But he knows how to get of the list so all is good!

I also have a list that I personally think is a great list to be on. It is the list that if I wanted to be on a list, this would be it! This is a list of people who I would go Above and Beyond for. Each of these people have earned the right to be on this list. These people can move to the SHIT LIST, but quickly get the opportunity to move off the SHIT LIST back on to the "LOVED LIST"

*My Husband...he earned the right to be on this list many years ago.

*My Daughter... I would move Heaven and Earth for her. She is the love of my life.

*My MOM...she has always been a pillar of strength for me. Guiding me in the right direction.

*BFF... J....she is so full of wisdom and love. How could she not be on this list.

*My Dear Friend... J... We have been through thick and thin with each other. I have been there when both of her kids were born. I have seen her ups and her downs. And she has seen mine. She is a great friend. We have drifted a bit...mainly because of our crazy lives.

*Another Dear Friend...A...When we first me, I was not very fond of her. But she has grown on me. She has proven to be a wonderful friend. She has been there for me through all sorts of crazy times. I know that anytime I need her, she will be there.

So I have another list too...It is the Fantasy list! This is "the" list that everyone shoud have. It is the list that if you EVER had the chance to be with the people on the list, then your significant other can not be mad.

MY FANTASY LIST

*GRADY SIZEMORE!!!(only person on my list :))

So no matter what kind of list you have, make sure that is worth having:)

Ignorance isn't always Bliss... sometimes it's just ignorance

Some people really rub me the wrong way. I mean, how can you be that stupid? I understand that some people just really are not very smart, but give me a break.

Saying you didn't know is no excuse for being ignorant! Why do people feel the need to prove how stupid they really are? Just keep your damn mouth shut...that way no one knows really how stupid you are!

Bet you are wondering why I am ranting about stupid people.

I just seem to be coming in contact with a lot of people who are just ignorant. Now, it may just be that I am nor bitchy lately! (which wouldn't surprise me at all)

So here are some examples of IGNORANT people in my life that I have been unfortunate enough to have contact with lately! (if you think that I am talking about you, then you are probably right.... and maybe not as ignorant as you are letting on to be)

*Some random girl on a message board that I frequent. UGG...she gives new meaning to ignorant. What makes matters worse is that she tries to defend her ignorance with more ignorance! (I often wonder why I let people who I will NEVER meet have that much effect on me. Well, who the hell knows)

*A dear friend of mine. She used to be pretty smart. Now I just think that she has let herself "slip". She is comfortable with her life. She is not willing to try and make things better for herself and her children. She is only ignorant in the sense that she knows better and refuses to change.

*Stupid girl at work... GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK! You really can't be that stupid! OK I guess you can.

*MySpace people who "buy" me... Umm I AM NOT FOR SALE!

*That girl who is dating this guy I work with. She is super smart. She is a wonderful person. But for some reason she chooses to date this ignorant guy. Now, he is only ignorant because he refuses to see what a great person he has in front of him.

I guess Ignorance really is bliss... because these people all seem to be happy! Ignorant, but happy... I guess that makes it all ok.

Oh So Random!

Random thoughts of the day!
1. I Like Limes!
2. I like my job... just not today!
3. Wish my body would quit rebelling against itself!
4. I need SOME! (if you dont know what SOME is...then you need some too!)