Time goes on

So this weekend last year...We were celebrating D's 30th birthday. Great friends and family came out to celebrate with us.

Thinking back and reflecting on that time I am feeling a lot of anxiety. I realized that this weekend last year was the last time I saw my brother alive. He was happy and smiling and joking. I am so grateful to have those memories. But it has been almost a year since Mark died and I am still struggling with the pain. I know the pain will never go away completely. And I don't want it to. I want to have the memories that I shared with Mark. But there is NOTHING I wouldn't give to be able to have the time to make more memories. One more day would be a blessing.