A life well spent!

When I started this blog I struggled for a decent name for it. At the time it was just a name, but lately it seems that it has started to have some meaning to me.

Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life. And overall I have been VERY happy with my life. Yes, it has been very hectic. Yes, it has been sort of stressful. Yes, it has been filled with drama. But it has been GREAT! I am feeling whole and fulfilled. I am feeling loved and in love. I am feeling like life will go on for me regardless of what has happened in the past. And all of those feelings are good!

So I feel like I am really living my life well spent!

What a weekend!!

This weekend has been an extended weekend for me. I took off of work on Thursday and Friday to hang out with my daughter. We spent Thursday shopping and all we came home with was a ONE EYED KITTEN!!! She is so sweet. And only 1 eye... we have named her One Eyed Willie... calling her Willie for short. She seems to be fitting in well in our house.:)

Friday we went to see a movie and just hang out:) We had a great time out and about! When we got home I had to make a cake for my Mom's birthday. I didn't wanna go with the boring chocolate cake again. I decided to try something different. I made Cinnamon Bun Cake with White Chocolate Cream Cheese filling and buttercream frosting. It was surprisingly easy to make. And wonderful!!!

Saaturday was a busy day. I had to get up early and make lasagna for mom's party. I think it will become tradition to have lasagna and cake on mom's birthday, since this is 2 years in a row now. It was also a big hit.

Worry

I have a dear friend that I often worry about. She is an amazing person. Always there for me when I need her. Always willing to listen to me complain about what ever is the latest drama in my life. I truly value her friendship. Often times, I feel like I am not nearly as good of a friend to her as she is to me.

She has been experiencing a lot of personal trials. I believe that she struggles with herself on a daily basis with things in her life. She is torn between being miserable in her current situation and finding what truly makes her happy. She feels trapped because she doesn't know which way to turn in her life. She wants to take the leap of faith but doesn't have enough faith in herself to actually make the leap. I wish I had the words of wisdom to help her in her struggles but I just don't. After all, there is no easy or nice way to say "hey, wake up! You deserve so much better than this!"

I wish she could find the faith in herself to know that she will be okay. I wish she knew that she would have all of the support she would need if she decided to make that leap of faith. I wish she would do what is right for herself and her children. I wish she would be able to say she is truly happy in her life and not be lying to herself. I wish she wouldn't wait to make herself happy.

It is hard to care about a friend so much and not be able to help them. It is hard to know that they are sad and miserable in their life. It is hard to know that she deserves so much better out of life but just can't see that for themselves.

I know it is not my job to worry about my friends. But unfortunately it is something I do. I have always been a worrier. It's just my way of caring.

Catching up!

So what's been going on with my life. Well a lot!

Where to start.

Mark passed away in February. That flipped my life upside-down to say the least! I still have not recovered from the grief. I doubt I ever will. At first it was hard to come to grips that I will never get to see him again. Or talk to him. But that hasn't proven to be true. I get to see and talk to him often. I have very vivid dreams about him. And we talk. And it feels healing and wonderful.

Work has been busy. The season has flown by. It has been great to be busy and keep my mind off of things that worry me.

I have been dealing with some body issues too. I have decided to have a hysterectomy to take care of the pain that I have. I have had a lot of people ask me if I am o'kay with not having anymore children. Now, that is a tricky question... at this current time in my life, I have to be okay without having any more children. Now, that isn't to say that I wouldn't like to have another baby, but that isn't going too happen. So I am at peace without having any more children of my own. Now, nieces and nephews are a different question...bring them on!

Speaking of Nephews and Nieces... So I have "adopted" several off my friends children as my nephews and nieces. A dear friend of mine of almost 10 years gave birth to her second son. He is adorable. So I have a new nephew:) So that makes my total of adopted nieces to 3 and 7 nephews!!!

I am back to being a Girl Scout Leader. I often find myself complaining about having to do yet another meeting or craft... but tonight proved to me why I do it. One of my girls is painfully shy. She isn't really into leading the group. Well she drew the pledge and song leader out of the capers jar. She was not happy with that at all. After the meeting she came up to me and said "Miss Nikki, thank you for being out leader. I love singing" That makes it all worth it!

I also took a sewing lesson... which was surprisingly easy. So I have been using my new found sewing skills to make aprons and pajama pants and purses... lots of fun!

I have also been doing a lot of cakes. I really enjoy making cakes. I have started to get more business. And I have started a cake blog:) www.cakesbynikki.blogspot.com

So there is my life in a nut shell... a very small, very cramped nutshell!

Back to blogging

So I have taken a hiatus from blogging. Mainly it is due to my life being rather hectic and not feeling like I have the time to blog.

But I need to get back with it.
So I am going to make more of an effort to blog at least once a week.

Someday

It's Friday afternoon and I am sitting at home waiting for the weekend to really start. I was just watching Project Runway and one of the designers said "someday you will be amazing...today is my someday!" That little phrase just struck a cord with me. I am not sure why, but it just did. It makes me think out when my someday is... or if my someday has already happened... or if my someday is everyday!

I truly believe that everyday is what you make of it. Everyday can be amazing. It's just up to you to make it amazing.

UGG

The pain has returned!!!!! Which leads me to believe that the endo has too!!!! UGGGGGGGG!!!! It is unbearable. I am in so much pain I feel like I could throw up!!! This is NOT good.